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Monday, June 21, 2010

Brain Washing Leyla

I went to the doctor today and while I was there, had my ears cleaned out. My husband was laughing so hard at my obvious enjoyment of the water pick etching out the wax build-up in my ear, that he grabbed the camera (always a constant in my handbag) and began filming while she was cleaning out my right ear.

As you can tell, I was obviously enjoying it as I could not stop my eyes from rolling back. My husband even suggested that we may have found "the new G-Spot"!

The shaking of the camera is because Ben was laughing so hard.

When the nurse put the black frock around me, she told me that she usually tells people she'll just be taking "a little off the top", but in my case, that wouldn't work.

Yesterday, I went to church for the first time since shaving it all off and the reactions were brilliant. At first, I had to analyze my own reaction to the reactions because for the first time in two weeks, I felt rather self-conscious.

Our congregation is made up of an older group of people and it was seriously awesome to have these older men coming up to me, look at my head and say "That is cool. That is REALLY cool. I mean it, that is SO cool."! And even had one older lady tell me that she had always wanted to do it, but never had the courage!  But of course, there were also the questions "why"... some "why on earth"; and one person asking my husband "What happened to your wife? Is she going through a mid-life crisis?"

But the reactions are all alright... I've had 24-hrs to think and ponder on them. My expression is pretty far-out there, and we still live in a rather conservative society in general. Anyone outside the "norm" is questioned. I actually never thought about judgment and curiosity as much as I have recently.

A part of me feels like a rebel, but an even larger part of me suddenly feels like a poster-child for all those who want to make some major changes in their lives; to break out of the norm that society (others) have placed on them, but haven't felt or had the courage to do so. Whether that's shaving it all off or doing something else rather radical to them and their situation.

A trip to the 99 Cent store was interesting when several people literally stopped in their tracks to look at me. I wanted to say to them; "I'm bald, I have feelings, I have eyes and I can see you!" Suddenly, I am feeling somewhat like the Elephant Man and feel like telling people that I am a "human being" and not some abstract art piece that needs to be stared at to be comprehended. With these new experiences, I think about those who have deformities or "anomalies" that cause people to stop and stare; and I wonder how many times have I looked at someone who was "different" and wondered why.

We say this is "human nature", but when did this "nature" start? At what age? When I was a little girl around 7 or 8 years old, I made a friend a school; a new girl, and arranged a play date with her. The first time my Mum met her and her Mum, she was a bit taken aback; you see, I had been talking about my new friend for weeks but I never mentioned the colour of her skin. Mum thought this was beautiful because I only saw her, my friend, and not that she had ebony coloured skin.

Growing up, I often befriended those considered the "under dog", those who were different, social outcasts; kids with disabilities of varying degrees, but I never saw these kids as anything other than my friends. I loved them for the beauty that they were. We played, we fought, but we always loved each other for who we were.

So when do we go from just being to suddenly seeing?

My doctor asked me today why I did it, and she told me that there are a group of people who shave their heads to raise money for cancer research, that they get people to sponsor them per inch and proceeds go to cancer research foundation.

While I had not shaved my hair for any reason other than my own, as my previous blogs have covered, I am finding that my own reasons are changing to something of a cause.

I am donating my hair to locks of love, but would like to turn my attention to ideas on raising money for cancer research; if any of you have any ideas you'd like to share with me, please do feel free to leave me a comment.

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